When others blame your mental illness for every emotion you feel

by Beth McHugh | More from this Blogger

16 Dec 2006 07:27 PM

There are several aspects to the stigma of mental illness. The first one is obvious. Many people do not want to reveal that they have a mental illness due to possible detrimental effects on their careers and personal relationships.

This is understandable as sadly the prejudice attached to having a chronic mental illness of any variety is still alive and well in our society. Stereotypical thinking of what a person who suffers from bipolar, schizophrenia, depression and the raft of anxiety disorders is like is peppered with theories largely based on Hollywood hype and the furtive whispers of misinformed neighbors, friends and family members.

It is sad that mental illness is held in such fear by society that sufferers must endure a double load: the illness itself, plus the attitude of people they come into contact with. Most suffers report that, sadly, it is the latter that causes them the most pain.

But another less well documented aspect of mental illness is that when the sufferer divulges the nature of their illness to family, friends and colleagues, they often find they have another dilemma on their hands. And that dilemma is this. Every time they cry, or get angry about a certain issue, it is dismissed by others as being a part of their mental illness. In effect, what others are saying is that the sufferer no longer has any valid feelings. All their feelings are generated completely and solely by their mental illness.

Take the case of Sarah. Sarah suffers from a chronic anxiety condition. Despite her illness she has managed to successfully undertake part-time work and care for her chronically ill child into the bargain. This is a heavy load for a person to bear. Yet her family does very little around the house to help Sarah with the day-to-day running of the household. Every now and then, she becomes understandably angry when she finds that jobs she has allocated to her husband and teenage daughter have not been done.

However, both these family members simply put the outburst down to "Mom's mental condition." As Sarah so correctly points out to her family, if she were well and the CEO of Microsoft she would still be angry with her family's lack of support. It is even more poignant that Sarah battles her condition on a daily basis and yet receives little praise for her mighty efforts.

The stigma of mental illness comes in many forms and this is just one example. Any readers who have similar stories to tell are welcome to contribute their own experiences where their justifiable feelings are not being correctly validated

Contact Beth McHugh for further assistance regarding this issue.

Related articles:

Taking the stigma out of mental illness

Helping someone you love with a mental illness (1)

Helping someone you love with a mental illness (2)

Learn more about Beth McHugh

Beth McHugh began her career as a geologist and worked both in industry and as a university researcher.

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IamWHO (627) 07 Apr 2007 10:20 PM

When I was an adolescent, every time my mother was unhappy about something, my father blamed it on menopause. Being invalidated really depressed her. I am bipolar and reactions from people are a big source of stress for me. I don’t want anybody to know, because they start making all of these assumptions about me. I am trying to be more open about it, but keep suffering more consequences. Everything changes and the person starts reading into everything you say. People need to get past their fear and prejudice. Not all bipolar individuals go out and act crazy, picking fights with people. We aren’t all liars, hypochondriacs, promiscuous, or abusing drugs. But people’s perceptions often blind them from the truth. And when it comes from people close to us it is infuriating.

Beth McHugh (12962) 08 Apr 2007 12:05 AM

Thank you for your comment, which is sadly a widespread experience of people who suffer from a mental illness. However, the more we talk about it, the more we break down the barriers, even though we must often go through a lot of personal hurt and pain to do so, the more we get the message out there. Congraulations on your efforts to communicate and educate. People need to hear the real story of mental illness and not minimize it nor fear it.