Be Prepared

I have decided to adopt the Boy Scouts motto of “be prepared” as my parenting motto. When you have kids, especially young one, there’s no telling what curve ball they might throw your way. Mine went something like this: early Saturday morning Tyler came up to me and asked me if it hurt when they cut me. Well, I figured he was talking about my C-section since I had explained the circumstances of his birth already. “No, no not that. Did it hurt when they cut your penis off?” Let me just say that I had not had any coffee … Continue reading

Book Review: From Diapers To Dating: A Parent’s Guide To Raising Sexually Healthy Children

Book Review: From Diapers To Dating: A Parent’s Guide To Raising Sexually Healthy Children, by Debra W. Haffner If you’re having problems talking to your kids about sex, I recommend this book. I admit, I checked it out of the library by mistake. I didn’t notice that it was about sex until I got home (the second part of the title is written in smaller letters under the main title). I thought it was a general parenting advice book. Since I had it anyway, I decided to read it. After all, at some point I will have to talk to … Continue reading

What is NOT Appropriate Sexual Development in Early Childhood.

In the three introduction articles, we’ve looked at sexual development in the three to fives and five to eight year-olds. They were green light behaviors, sometimes shocking and confronting to parents, but very normal from a child’s curious mind. This article looks at amber and red light behaviors that require concern and action. Remember that sexual development is a natural part of a child growing up. However, some behaviors step over the boundary of acceptable and suggest something else may be going on. The something else does not always mean the child has been sexually abused. Rather, it could be … Continue reading

What is Age Appropriate Sexual Development in Early Childhood? The Five to Eight Year Olds.

This is the third article in the series. Click on the links to view the introduction, or, three to five-year-old articles. The five to eight-years olds are the ones who really seem to get into trouble the most, for simply enacting a normal part of their development. This is the stage where therapists are sent these children to “fix” them. So, is there increased abnormal sexual behavior in this age group? I think not. This age group is highly sociable, have started school, and have many more sets of authoritarian eyes watching their every move. The children are learning the … Continue reading

What is Age Appropriate Sexual Development in Early Childhood? The Three to Five-Year-Olds.

The introduction to Age Appropriate Sexual Development can be viewed here. The pre-school child now has increased vocabulary and contact with a larger number of people. The children remain curious about their own bodies and the bodies of others. They are becoming acutely aware, and interested, of the difference between a boy body and a girl body and will typically start asking questions like, “Why does Daddy have a penis?” Their increased social contacts may bring them into contact with other Moms who are pregnant, or indeed, there may even be pregnancy in their own home. The questions continue: “Where … Continue reading

What is Age Appropriate Sexual Development in Early Childhood? Introduction.

A child of four inserts a pair of scissors into her bottom. A child of eight attempts to put his penis into his little sister’s vagina. Is this acceptable behavior? No. Is it developmentally normal? No. These are indicators of something being wrong and worthy of concern. What is developmentally normal though? It can be so confusing and scary when a parent catches their children engaged in sex play. Usually the parents first reaction is shock, followed quickly by anger, and then concern, both for their own perception of perhaps being a bad parent and then for their child: “Am … Continue reading