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How to Cope with an Empty Nest

Your “baby” has grown up, started college, and moved away to live in a dorm or apartment. This experience can leave parents with a mix of strong emotions. It also requires adjustments in how you and your college student relate to each other, and alters what your day-to-day life is like. Here are some ways to cope with an Empty Nest. Allow Yourself to Feel Whatever Emotions Appear A national survey done in 2013 by Clark University of over 1,000 parents found that 84% missed their kids once they moved out. 60% of parents said they were glad to have … Continue reading →

Prelude To An Empty Nest

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Friday. For so long it was my favorite day. Friday meant I got to spend two full, uninterrupted days with my family. Since my divorce, Friday has become something else entirely. Every other Friday morning I kiss my daughter good bye, knowing that her father will pick her up before I get off work and it will be two long days before I see her again. I try to drag the work day out. Searching for unfinished projects that need my immediate attention. Anything to make the work day as long as possible and delay going home to an empty … Continue reading →

Mental Health Week in Review: August 24-31

Men have a bad reputation for being commitment phobic, but is it really always them who are at fault? In Is Your Man Really Commitment Phobic? (1) we looked at the possibility whereby women who continually date men who “ won’t commit”, actually have a problem with commitment themselves. You can read about the story of Melissa and her problems with commitment phobic men in the above link, and how she faced the reality of her own commitment problem in Is Your Man Really Commitment Phobic? (2). We also had a five part series on the Empty Nest Syndrome. This … Continue reading →

The Empty Nest Syndrome (5)

Today we look at the story of Emma who, despite having four children and devoting part of her working life to caring for them full time, has successfully managed to avoid the distressing feelings that characterize the empty nest syndrome. Emma’s motivation for doing all she could to avoid the problems associated when her children left home were strong: Her mother had suffered terribly when Emma, the youngest of her birth family, had left home. She had felt enormous guilt and also enormous anger at her mother at the time and she did not want to suffer it herself when … Continue reading →

The Empty Nest Syndrome (4)

Today we look at ways to minimize the effects of the empty nest syndrome which is both real and painful. As mentioned in previous articles on this topic (see links below) the process of separation from your child and your child from you is both normal and healthy. It’s just that sometimes normality can be a little hard to bear. It is important to remember that separation has been happening since the day the umbilical cord was cut. It did not begin the day your son or daughter waves you goodbye on his or her way to college almost two … Continue reading →

The Empty Nest Syndrome (3)

Today we begin to look at ways to avoid or at least minimize the effects of the empty nest syndrome. As discussed in previous articles, the empty nest syndrome occurs when one or more adult children leave the family home and the parents, commonly the mother, experience bouts of intense grief in the period immediately following the departure. The best way to minimize the effects of the empty nest syndrome is to prepare yourself for it. This process ideally begins years prior to your child leaving home. Knowledge is power and knowing that the empty nest syndrome is real and … Continue reading →

The Empty Nest Syndrome (1)

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“Help me. I miss my little girl!” This was the opening cry for help from the middle-aged female client who sat before me. “How old is your little girl?” I inquired. The woman dabbed her eyes and looked at me and looked away. “She’s 21.” This lady was in real distress. Her daughter had moved away to college and she was a SAHM of one, and her “one” had just flown the coup. She was profoundly sad. She had what is commonly known as the “empty nest syndrome.” Though not a registered psychological condition, the empty nest syndrome is very … Continue reading →

Empty Nest Syndrome for the Single Parent

Empty Nest Syndrome is a difficult time for any parent but for the single parent, it can be an exciting but also heartbreaking time. I remember when my daughter was 18. Just two weeks after her birthday, she decided to move out. Although my son was still at home at the age of 20 while attending a nearby university, I was devastated. I remember thinking that she was so young and just not ready but she was legally an adult and it was her right. Although I tried to talk her out of going, she had her mind made up. … Continue reading →

There is No Time Limit to Grieving

During the time that I was writing the series of articles on the Empty Nest Syndrome, I came across a comment on a pseudo-medical site which suggested some rather bizarre but also quite dangerous advice on how to deal with this phenomenon. As we discussed in previous articles on the empty nest syndrome, this situation arises when either the first child leaves home or more commonly, when the last child moves out of the family home. Although fathers can and do experience the symptoms of the empty nest syndrome, it is most common amongst mothers, who traditionally do most of … Continue reading →