Search Results for: blog the cycle of violence part 7 stand over

Teaching Values to Your Children

Yesterday, my 1st grader came home and told me that a girl at school was being a bully at recess. Of course, I asked a million questions trying to get more details regarding what happened. It seemed to me after talking about it for a long time, that this other 1st grader was trying to tease my daughter because of something that my daughter said. I finally realized that it was mostly innocent child’s play (although a little aggressive), but at the same time, I used it as a teaching opportunity to tell my children again that if they don’t … Continue reading →

Do You Want to Know What God Hates?

Do you want to know what God hates? The bible tells us. Here are some things mentioned. God hates: Unjust scales Proverbs 11: 1, 20:23. God doesn’t want to see people cheated. That’s good for us to remember at tax time and in our dealings with others. I think it also applies not just financially but to cheating others in what we give to a relationship. Boasting and those who do iniquity, lies and deceit, violence and bloodshed, Psalm 5:5-6. Divorce, Malachi 2:16. Notice, God does not say he hates the divorced person but divorce. Life long marriage of one … Continue reading →

Tips to Help Your Child re-Handle a Violent Conflict

Nonviolent Conflict Solving is necessary if we choose to instill peaceful values into our children. Given the degree of anger and violence in society, children may need to know, as early as possible, how to handle disagreements with each other without letting their anger get out of control, and without using violence. As they develop physically and cognitively, children can be helped to use the conflict-solving methods that worked for them in their early childhood days to problem solve around the more complicated problems that appear in adolescence. We’re not violent so why should we teach this to our children? … Continue reading →

Attitudes Portray that Rapists Can’t Control Urges

A recent study of 2000 Victorian (Australia) adults supports that ALMOST two in five people think that men who rape do so because they can’t control their urges. The Violence Against Women Community Attitudes Project also discovered that one in four people believe domestic violence is acceptable as long as the perpetrator genuinely regrets it afterwards. Is it any wonder then that one in five women will experience intimate partner violence in their relationship? Chief Executive Officer of VicHealth, Dr Rob Moodie, sadly stated that the attitudinal figures showed negative attitudes that cause harm to women are still prevalent in … Continue reading →

Family Violence. An Australian Aboriginal Perspective.

Violence has become entrenched into our societies. Many individuals hold non-violence as a personal value and strive to end it. Despite laws that protect against assault, domestic and family violence (including incest, rape and sexual assault) continues to be a shameful mark on our progressive and contemporary ways of life. Reasons to explain domestic violence have long been pondered over and everyday community members question why women would stay in such dreadful situations. History and culture may go a long way to explain entrenched violence but too often, we each react from our own view of the world, rather than … Continue reading →

Does your Daughter get Sexually Harassed at School?

Sexual harassment can take many different forms, however, all actions are based on the social construction of inherited male power and gender conditioning. Unsolicited and unreciprocated male sexual behavior, directed toward females, is often regarded by some as a normal male practice. Such learned functioning undermines the autonomy of women and girls. This cannot remain unchallenged because it is hurting our daughters and affecting their learning at school. Sexual harassment occurs in school settings too, between male teacher to female student, male student to female teacher and from student to student. Australian research has shown a dominant school culture where … Continue reading →

How Do I know if a Child is Being Abused?

Every parent’s fear is that their child will be abused. There are four different types of abuse: Neglect, Emotional, Physical and Sexual. There are common physical and behavioral signs that may indicate any of these types of abuse. The presence of one of these signs does not necessarily mean abuse or neglect. When I am assessing for likelihood of abuse, I look for clusters of the signs. If I see many of the signs together, I begin to suspect abuse and I report to a Government body (Police or Welfare) who can investigate and protect the child. Although every family’s … Continue reading →

Alternatives to Smacking.

This is a sister article to: To Smack or Not to Smack? What is the Answer? Click here to read it. If smacking another adult is assault, it may be beneficial to train our children early not to smack people. Smacking is a behavior that belongs with the tactics of power and control associated with the Cycle of Violence. To break this cycle, we need to find alternatives to physical punishment when all we really want to do is lash out at our children. Children never deserve physical violence and learn nothing positive from such action. If we model alternatives … Continue reading →

To Smack or Not to Smack? What is the Answer?

I was recently asked to be a radio talk back guest on smacking children. The young female presenter gave the following scenario: A young mother, on her way home from work and after picking up here 3-year-old daughter from day care, stopped to choose a DVD. While cruising around the isles attempting to choose her only entertainment for the week, her young daughter starts pulling videos off shelves and throwing them at her mother. The mother smacked the child, one hard swift smack on the bottom, paid for the DVD in her hand and left. The young video store attendant … Continue reading →

Do You Get Angry with Your Child? I Do, Because Anger is a Natural Feeling.

Related articles: Emotional Intelligence and Clear Communication; Dealing with a Passive Aggressive-Manipulator; The Cycle of Violence: Part 7, Stand Over. Anger is natural and normal. Just like any other emotion, we have the innate ability to feel angry and the right to let others know what we are feeling. However, often the behaviors that we display when we are angry are the problem. The behaviors we display are not our emotion – they are our behaviors Just as children get angry and throw a tantrum, so too do us parents. These tantrums are unacceptable and let other big people know … Continue reading →