Search Results for: blog the cycle of violence part 5 normal

How Children Learn the Cycle of Violence

The Cycle of Violence is a pattern of behavior that occurs in many relationships. It is insidious, refuses to use clear communication, and relies on people reacting through behaviors rather than clearly identifying and calmly stating their case. Why are so many adults sucked into the Cycle of Violence? Because they have learnt it as children. This is how it goes… Mum awoke this morning with conviction anew. During the night she had slept badly, worried that she was yelling at the kids too much. Leaping out of bed, eager to start a new day, she said aloud to her … Continue reading →

The Cycle of Violence: part 7, Stand Over.

This is the last part of the Cycle of Violence. It is the culmination of the insidious and convincing trick behaviors that have occurred during Explosion, Remorse, Buy Back, Honeymoon, Normal, and Tension Build Up. The tension in the air has become so great that the home is like a powder keg. Every waking minute, the household members live in fear of an explosion. People speak in hushed tones, they become hypervigilant and keep a check on where the perpetrator is, and they wait. The moment he enters the scene they know there’s going to be trouble. It may be … Continue reading →

The Cycle of Violence: part 6, Tension Build Up.

Yesterday in “Normal”, we saw the cyclic behavior beginning to slip back to old and habitual ways of operating. You may remember that the mother said nothing about her partner’s outburst at the children. She instead just thought that his behavior was a bit tough. He’d been trying so hard that she didn’t want to be negative and spoil the positive changes that he had made. However, his outburst is the first indicator that the behavior is on a downhill slide and that the household is beginning to become unsafe. During the Tension Build Up stage of the relationship, tensions … Continue reading →

The Cycle of Violence: Part 5, Normal

I have always had difficulty with the name of this stage of the cycle. I question if it is normal behavior that occurs. I wonder if it should be called habitual behaviour rather than normal behavior. During this stage, things begin to slip back to normal. It takes so much energy to keep up remorse, buyback and honeymoon that the perpetrator will begin to let his guard down. His behavior slips back to the old ways that he had been promising to lose. As an example, if during buyback the perpetrator had promised that the family would have a together … Continue reading →

Does your Daughter get Sexually Harassed at School?

Sexual harassment can take many different forms, however, all actions are based on the social construction of inherited male power and gender conditioning. Unsolicited and unreciprocated male sexual behavior, directed toward females, is often regarded by some as a normal male practice. Such learned functioning undermines the autonomy of women and girls. This cannot remain unchallenged because it is hurting our daughters and affecting their learning at school. Sexual harassment occurs in school settings too, between male teacher to female student, male student to female teacher and from student to student. Australian research has shown a dominant school culture where … Continue reading →

Do You Get Angry with Your Child? I Do, Because Anger is a Natural Feeling.

Related articles: Emotional Intelligence and Clear Communication; Dealing with a Passive Aggressive-Manipulator; The Cycle of Violence: Part 7, Stand Over. Anger is natural and normal. Just like any other emotion, we have the innate ability to feel angry and the right to let others know what we are feeling. However, often the behaviors that we display when we are angry are the problem. The behaviors we display are not our emotion – they are our behaviors Just as children get angry and throw a tantrum, so too do us parents. These tantrums are unacceptable and let other big people know … Continue reading →