Search Results for: blog still holding onto that grudge

How to Avoid a Grudge

Grudges and marriages do not happy partners make. Not everyone carries a grudge, but many of us may whether we are aware of it or not. When you carry a grudge, you invite the grudge and the negativity associated with it to move into your marriage with you and your spouse. When you invite a grudge into your relationship, you add the variety of spice that are paybacks, petty remarks and revenge. The negativity on both sides is far from constructive and loving – carrying a grudge is not in the vows you took to get married and the disharmony … Continue reading →

How To Deal With Hurt

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No matter how good our marriage or how loving a relationship we are in, we’ve all of us no doubt had times when we’ve been hurt by a comment or something our spouse has done. But what do we do about it? We cannot undo what was done or said. We can choose how we respond to it. Some people faced with a situation like this will withdraw or pull back from the person. After all they don’t want to be hurt again. They refuse to tell their spouse what the problem is and keep saying nothing’s wrong. But in … Continue reading →

Disagreements Aren’t Always Bad for Your Marriage

Disagreements aren’t always bad. In fact they can be good for your marriage. Better to have it out in the open that festering inside and the other person not knowing what is wrong. I’m sure we’ve all heard the, ‘What’s wrong?’ ‘Nothing,’ the other person replies, though obviously there is. Then eventually the other person admits what the problem is. The alternative is that they dwell on it so much that sooner or later everything little thing the other person does starts to aggravate until eventually the whole thing blows up and turns into a major argument that is not … Continue reading →

Our Not So Irreconcilable Differences

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our tenth anniversary. Over dinner he asked if it’s been everything I hoped it would be. My honest answer was, “Yes, and it gets better every year.” Trust me, we’ve had our differences, but my husband and I decided before we got married that divorce was not an option. When we made our vows to each other and to God, we entered into a covenant. No amount of “Irreconcilable differences” would tear us apart. As it turns out, most of our differences weren’t irreconcilable. When you are committed to somebody, you do whatever it … Continue reading →

Forgive & Forget

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One of the hardest parts of disagreeing with your spouse is that it’s not always easy to forgive transgressions whether they are real or imagined. Yet, even more difficult than forgiving a transgression is forgetting one. Now bear with me, because the old saying goes fool me once, shame on you — fool me twice, shame on me – we all tend to get a little gun shy. However, if love and passion are going to survive in your marriage you have to learn how to wipe the slate clean, forgive each other and forget. While you do not necessarily … Continue reading →

Dealing with Anger– the Islamic Way

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We all experience anger from time to time. Maybe your spouse did something to upset you… the children are misbehaving… someone cut you off in traffic… your boss is being unreasonable. We share this world with many people of many different personalities. It is inevitable that we will feel anger or frustration from time to time. While the feelings are inevitable, angry reactions are not. In fact, the teachings of Islam are very clear on this: it is haram (forbidden) to lash out in anger. The Koran says: “O ye who believe! Let not a folk deride a folk who … Continue reading →

Marriage & Love; Love & Marriage

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Sometimes we forget that love and marriage both take work. When we are engaged to be married and planning our wedding ceremony, we think the sky is the limit. We know if we aim for the moon, even if we miss – we’ll still be among the stars. We understand, above all else, that we love each other. This is a thought that we need to remember, because that love can sustain us in the best of times and the worst of times. The following is a bit of a personal glimpse, but it was the best way I knew … Continue reading →