Search Results for: blog sexual abuse of boys mebes personal story

When Should Kids Be Allowed To Use Public Restrooms Alone?

Maybe I’m overprotective or just plain cautious. When Tyler and I are out in pubic I never allow him to go to a public restroom alone. He either goes in the ladies room with me, we use one of the family restrooms or if it’s one of those one-per-person deals, he can go in the men’s room alone while I stand guard at the door. But apparently not all parents are so cautious. Take the case of a couple in Iowa who sued a Wal-mart store because they say their 4-year-old son was sexually assaulted in the men’s room. The … Continue reading →

The Use of Open-Ended Questions in Finding Out About Child Sexual Abuse

Children hate the volley of questions that they get from adults. Along with all the children I’ve worked with therapeutically over the years, my own children have told me that adult questions are like Policeman questions. Charming! When I’m trying to establish rapport and build a relationship with a child, the last thing I want to sound like is a Police person. The way you frame and use your questions is the trick. While questions are useful when starting a relationship, they can also quickly stifle it. Useful questions don’t just happen; they need planning and placement in a framework … Continue reading →

How to Ask a Child if They’ve Been Sexually Abused.

The hard and awful questions of are life are usually left in the too hard basket. Parents may have an inkling that something is wrong because their child’s behavior has changed. While some parents never even consider that it could be sexual abuse, other parents (like me) worry themselves sick over the possibility of sexual abuse but most will never raise it as a possibility with their child. Sexual abuse is a hard topic to begin talking about if it has not been part of at home protective behavior discussions. Mebe’s story and early craving for someone to ask him … Continue reading →

Sexual Abuse of Boys: Mebe IS NOT Having a Whale of a Time.

This is the second article on Mebe – an adult male sexually abused as a child. To read Mebe’s background story, click here. When Mebe chose his fictious name for this series of articles, he originally decided upon Moby. He reasoned that he looked like Moby Dick – large and whale like. Although he laughed at his own comparison, there was a degree of shame and embarrassment attached. After our brief discussion about his name, he pulled a packet of sweets out of his bag and began eating them. Mebe identified that sweets bought him comfort. Nobody liked him, he … Continue reading →