Search Results for: blog recovery from a rape you can immediately help

Disclosures of Sexual Assaults often lead to Dissociation

When somebody makes a public disclosure of a previously private abuse they are indeed extremely brave. A multitude of fears run through their mind and body: will I be believed, will I be blamed, will I be in trouble. These faulty cognitions are the result of societal constraints of allowing people to tell the truth and the powerful dynamic of control that predators use against a victim, even many, many years following the abuse. Following a disclosure, a victim frequently feels re-victimized and they are hypersensitive to other’s reactions. When support networks say nothing, it can leave the victim second-guessing … Continue reading →

Reclaim the Night: An Electronic March for Women

This is an electronic march for ALL women (you do not have to be a survivor of sexual assault to participate) to safely Reclaim our Right to Take Back the Night. Rape and sexual assault is not our fault. Why should we have to curb our natural behaviors due to fear of being hurt. It is time for predators to take responsibility: for them to have to walk with others for protection, for them to have to stay indoors at nighttime, for them to stop raping our women and children. The twenty seventh of October 2006 marks the 30th anniversary … Continue reading →

Calling Non-Violent Men to Reclaim the Knight

Calling all Knights: We need your help to reach all men. It’s time to come out of your caves and draw a line in the sand with your sword. The silent majority are often taken as agreeing with an issue. Sexual violence against women and children is an issue surrounded in secrecy, dominance and re-perpetrations. Sexual violence is a gendered crime which means that far more men than women perpetrate atrocities against women and children. Does your silence mean you agree that sexual violence is an acceptable thing to have occur? If not, speak up. Men are part of the … Continue reading →

The Negative Effect of Globalization on Rape

Some years ago, I answered the phone to a hysterical woman with a strong American accent. Between her accent and her tears, I was unable to understand what she was saying apart from “I was raped.” A young backpacker, she had taken 12 months off her job as an airline attendant and had bought herself a Round the World ticket. After three months of travel, she had been enjoying a slow week in a South American country. After all the other bus passengers had alighted from their daily tour, the tour guide raped the young woman in the aisle of … Continue reading →

School Project Information on Sexual Assault.

Parents requesting information on sexual assault for school projects often contact me to find out where to start. When I can, I meet with the students and try to match the information supplied to their topic criteria. However, sometimes just knowing where to start finding out information about sexual assault is the best way to attack projects. It is such a scary and personal topic that many parents state that they are a little embarrassed about seeking information publicly because someone may wrongly think that either themselves, or their child, has been abused. With this in mind, I have gathered … Continue reading →

When Bad Things Happen Again and Again.

It is not uncommon for a woman or child to reveal that many different perpetrators have sexually abused them throughout their life. There are neuropsychological and cognitive theories to explain why this happens. This does not mean that these theories are correct; it is just a way to help us understand how it is possible for one good person to attract so many bad things. What really gets me angered is when I hear people comment that the child or woman must be lying; that it is impossible for anybody to be sexually abused that many times. It is possible, … Continue reading →

Fight Back with a Voice of Marshal Protection.

While sitting here tonight pretending to be a highly observant Kendo Mum, I am reminded of the link between self-defense and personal safety. Many protective behavior programs advocate for fight back. If you are grabbed by a stranger while, you are on the street, in the park, or in your back yard; fight back and scream. Of course, structured self-defense would be the ideal, but, if like me, when you are in crisis you forget everything you are supposed to do, you won’t remember the structure and therefore, any old fight back will do. Most forms of self-defense and marshal … Continue reading →

Shampoo to Help Remove the Shams and Pooh of Life after an Assault.

When a person is raped, they often complain of feeling “dirty” and want to immediately scrub themselves clean. If the victim wants to report the assault to the police the necessary forensic testing for evidence gathering requires the victim to not shower until evidence has been collected. This can be a double violation. Being subjected to even more personal intrusion, the victims long to scrub their bodies clean. Hospitals offer bathroom facilities and staff are usually compassionate and accommodating. While most of us can immediately understand the emotional and mental health cost of rape, have you ever considered the financial … Continue reading →

Recovery From a Rape. YOU Can Immediately Help.

Rape and sexual assault are life-changing occurrences. They violate a women’s soul because her essence has been attacked. The effects of the rape can last for many years, sometimes even a lifetime. Survivors may feel isolated and alone, different and unusual. They are none of these. Many women have been sexually assaulted but they do not feel comfortable in publicly discussing it. No matter what circumstance she was assaulted under, it is NEVER her fault and there is no shame attached to it. Her shame is self-designed because of a fear of being judged from you. Blame statements: Remarks from … Continue reading →