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Are Past Relationships Affecting Your Parenting?

For some strange reason, one of my daughters reminds me of my sister. She always has—at least since she was a toddler. It used to be that every once in a while I would even slip up and call her by my sister’s name. While I haven’t ever gotten down to the bottom of all the ways they remind me of each other, I have learned how to NOT let my past relationship and interactions with my sister affect how I deal with my daughter. It sounds easy and obvious enough, but it might be surprising how often we let … Continue reading →

The Meaning of Marriage – Your Individual Needs

I know a lot of couples that expect that marriage means you don’t do anything unless you are doing it with your spouse. They believe that marriage means that you do everything together and your individual pursuits evaporate because you are married. The truth is, when you marry someone, you create an identity that is larger than both of you. Because it is larger than both of you that means you both maintain a certain degree of your individual lives and pursuits. After all, you had those before you were married and you were both attracted to the items you … Continue reading →

Is your past affecting your present?

Did you choose your life partner because he or she was physically attractive to you and has qualities that you find important? You may believe that you chose your partner based on the thoughts and feelings you had about them at the time you met them. But other, deeper forces may have been at work. It’s not uncommon to choose partners who in some way physically resemble our opposite sex parent. But it’s even more common to find ourselves in a relationship with someone with similar character traits to one or both of our parents. Sometimes this can be beneficial. … Continue reading →

My Mother-in-Law

The other day Dale wrote an article entitled “Are You the Exception to the Rule?”. It was about relationships with mother-in-laws, in particular ones that are very amicable. As I commented on Dale’s blog, I have a bit of an unconventional relationship with my mother-in-law. Wayne’s Mom As many of you regular readers know, Wayne and I have been together for over 20 years. (This past May, we celebrated 22 years together. And in a little over a week, we’ll celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary.) I knew Wayne’s dad very well. I met him right at the beginning of our … Continue reading →

Dealing with the “Not Enough” Feelings

As single parents, many of us feel stretched and pulled in a thousand directions. Most of us really do want to be all that we can be and this means a great parent, a good friend or romantic partner, a solid and valued worker or employee, a positive citizen, etc. Unfortunately, many of us also wrestle with feelings constantly that we are “not enough”; that we will somehow never measure up to the expectations of others or ever be adequate enough to receive approval, love, acceptance, etc. As most of you know, I am not a psychologist or therapist or … Continue reading →

“Saints” in U.S. Adoption

Since some Christian denominations recognize today as All Saints’ Day (a day to honor role models past and present, living and dead), I decided to do a bit of research on people who have had a great impact on adoption. Of course this list could include many, many people. I hope that holding up a few will reflect honor on all of those who continue to work for children and families. The U.S. Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute established the annual “Angels in Adoption” awards and gala to honor the unsung heroes from all 50 states who have enriched the … Continue reading →

Generational Curses

Are they real? Yes they are and it is so important when contemplating sin to understand consequences that can surpass the moment inflicting pain on future generations. We can read about the first generational curse in Genesis upon Adam and Eve’s consumption of the forbidden fruit. Although the curse from that still remains in labor and physical death, by our Lord’s grace and mercy, in accepting His gift of salvation, we can be spared eternal spiritual death (separation from God). We see stories throughout the Bible of curses affecting generations that are perhaps examples that God allowed to be shared … Continue reading →

FLOOR TIME: Promoting the Expression of Feelings and Ideas

If you’ve been following my floor time blogs, your child should now be able to show personal interest and attention during your play sessions, and demonstrate the ability to communicate in ways that are connected to reality and make sense. Perhaps he or she can ask simple questions, make requests, and uses nearly fifteen to thirty different words correctly. Once these goals have been accomplished, your son or daughter can move to the next goal of floor time, which is the ability to express feelings and ideas. This blog is the fourth in a series about being your child’s own … Continue reading →