How to Help a Suicidal Person (1)

by Beth McHugh | More from this Blogger

02 Jul 2007 04:08 PM

What would you do if you suddenly encountered a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger who was showing strong signs of imminent suicide? Few of us are taught what to do in a situation such as this, so let's look some ways to deal with this extremely difficult situation.

1. Do not get involved physically if the person is highly distressed and/or threatening. In this situation, talking is the best option The longer you can keep the person talking, even if it is only you who is doing the talking, the longer you will delay any dire action and hence the greater the likelihood of the person surviving the incident. If they are moving about agitatedly, let them keep moving. This serves to release the tension inside them. Obviously if they are about to jump from a great height, you similarly would not approach them, particularly in using any rapid movement. This is the single most likely action to precipitate death. Just keep them talking.

If the person is threatening in any way, or in possession of a weapon, again keep your distance.

2. Ensure the person is not left alone. Stay with the person if you consider the risk of suicide is high. Alternatively, try to arrange for someone else to be with them while they get through the immediate crisis. Never leave a suicidal person alone. It is better not to seek professional help if it means leaving the person. In many ways, you as a human being who is displaying concern and caring can be just as effective as a trained professional as long as you talk in the correct manner (see 3).

3. Encourage the person to talk. Listen without judgment. Be polite and respectful. Don't deny the person's feelings. Don't try to give advice. The more you can get the person to talk, the less the chance of the suicidal act being completed. Listen to what the person is saying and do not judge what they are saying, even if you disagree with their words. Remember, you have no idea of the course of events that has led this person to this point in their lives, and therefore it is disrespectful and potentially harmful to judge. Also, do not patronize the person, they will pick this up in your voice in a heartbeat.

If you truly do not know what to say, then say exactly that. Whatever you say, say it with sincerity. The person will readily pick up on sincerity and honesty. Remember, they are desperately searching for a reason to go on living. Contact with just one, honest, truly loving and concerned person can make a huge difference in this person's life.

Next blog, more tips in dealing with a suicidal person.

Contact Beth McHugh for further assistance regarding this issue.

Related articles:

Suicide: What do you think about it?

Suicide: My thoughts on one case

Speaking Ill of the Dead

Learn more about Beth McHugh

Beth McHugh began her career as a geologist and worked both in industry and as a university researcher.

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cal1 (75) 06 Jan 2008 10:12 PM

The advice is very good for the person in crisis or thinking about a suicidal act impulsively. For most suicidal persons, thats the scenario, and most of these persons, once rescued, do not later successfully complete suicide. (so they've truly been 'rescued' not just delayed). But there are other reasons people complete suicide, and for them, these tactics are less effective. I am suicidal because life sucks and has for a long time, and I suffer from Depression and other mental illness. I've been in treatment since age 12. Thats a lot of shrinks. I've been on meds for over a decade. I can't cope with life. So some of the comments like, do not leave the person alone. How long are you planning to stay with me? A year? More? I don't think my feelings are going to be that different in a day or two. They talk about committing someone to a hospital. The hospitals that I have been in are like holding cells. They do nothing to address the issues that sent you there. They give you some meds, check on you every fifteen minutes, and they release you after a few days. So, am I better somehow? Or traumatized from that experience, and returning to a life and problems that are worse than I left them. Now I have to explain to work why I suddenly disappeared for five days. What do I say, "oh, I was involuntarily committed to a mental hospital", but I'm just fine now! Can I have a promotion? Face it.... for some people suicidal ideation isn't a temporary delusion or impulse, its the end of a long road of suffering that a few well-meaning by short-term gestures aren't going to fix

Beth McHugh (13211) 06 Jan 2008 10:32 PM

Nothing can really stop a person who is determined to end their life. As you say, these tips are for crisis situations only and intended to help people who would have few ideas on how to deal with such a situation. Of course feelings concerning ending one's life will not change in a day or two, however without the efforts of a caring person at a critical time, there is no help of any future at all. The hospital system is not designed in such a way to actually help a suicidal person, they are just holding bays unfortunately. If you read my other blogs on suicide you will see that I do not consider it to be a temporary impulse, rather the act of a person who has reached the end of their resources, and not through any fault of their own.

cal1 (75) 06 Jan 2008 10:53 PM

Ms. McHugh: Thanks for the reply. I know at times when I've been feeling suicidal I've thought about calling the suicide help lines, but decided not to, partly out of shyness, but also because, c'mon, what are they going to do? Solve my problems? No. I don't want to seem to negative on this topic, because I feel it's immensely worthwhile, something like 30,000 people in the US took their own lives last year. It's a noble cause, and I commend the people who support it. I just have trouble in seeing how it would help me.