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A Chatterbox, Chatterbitss Activity, for Protective Play

Do you remember those paper folded, two hand, finger manipulated, schoolyard toys that we used to terrorize each other with? Four different colored faces, numbers on the inside that opened up to the most derogatory sayings the author could think of, e.g., “You love (the nerdiest boy in the class)” or “You smell.” We used to call them Chatterboxes. Who would have thought that such a simple, hand made toy could become a powerful teaching tool. Instead of Chatterbox, I call them Chatterbitts and use them to teach protective behaviors. I put protective statements, or reminders, under the inside triangular … Continue reading →

Final BITSS of Protective Play

As we’ve seen over the previous five BITSS articles on Body ownership, Intuition, Touch, Say no and Support networks, there are endless ways to include BITSS activities and games as part of your child’s everyday life. The suggestions provided were an entree to get you thinking and playing protectively. Stay curious, create different activities, seek out more information or think about getting a few resources from sexual assault centers or other places that deal with child sexual abuse. There are also some great computer games that children can play to help them learn about personal safety. Hold a protective behaviors … Continue reading →

BITSS of Intuition

Intuition is the adult term for what kids know as early warning signs. It is said that females have better intuition than males because girls are more sensitive. Perhaps that’s only because some of us train our sons NOT to rely on their intuition and not to show their feelings about things. We like them to be manly: rational, sensible, scientific, and cut off from their feelings. And when male children are sensitive we put them down by telling them not to be girls/sissies/cry babies!? The other thing we often do when children show emotion is to tell them to … Continue reading →

Teachable Moments in Protective Play.

Protective play is about finding teachable moments, during play, to introduce the five BITSS elements of protective behaviors. BITSS play can help you to protect your child by introducing talk about Body Ownership, Intuition, Touch, Say No and Support Networks before anything horrible happens to your child. I run Protective Play parties to teach parents how easy it is to do. I take a stock of everyday toys with me and we sit and play as if kids would. During the play I coach in how find and grab that teachable moment and mentor the participants through play tutoring. It … Continue reading →

A Super Duper Resource Site for Working with a Child who has Asperger’s

What a week I’ve had! My partner has been diagnosed with a serious illness and my son has been diagnosed with Asperger’s. How do I feel? Desolate. I have a hole in my chest the size of a football and stinging salt spray is assaulting the raw edges. I am exhausted and confused. I want to crawl into my bed and howl but I know that it won’t improve my situation. Rather than give in to my own feelings of grief, I have decided to use my grief to seek as many helpful resources as I can find. I am … Continue reading →

Thera Pea Dolls: At home Protective Play That Won’t Break the Bank.

Thera Pea Dolls are a tool I use to teach Protective Behaviors. In my role as a child therapist and Protective Behavior consultant, I am always on the look out for different ideas to present as teaching utensils for parents to use with their own children if they want to. I like to suggest protective play resources that are either free or take little expense to make. One of the favored resources I use is Thera Pea Dolls. The dolls are simply a stuffed body outline that can be written on, or drawn upon, for numerous at home psycho-educational purposes. … Continue reading →

Stranger Danger versus Relation Sensation

While watching Lemony Snicket’s “A series of Unfortunate Events” for the 500th time since its release onto DVD, I was reminded to take the NAPCAN Child Friendly Challenge. I asked the two Master 10 year-olds what they would require in a child friendly community. Their answers: 1. “friendly people who don’t ask weird questions to find out about you”, 2. “No strangers”. Their answers puzzled me. One child is my son and the other, a son of my colleague. Both children are well versed in protective behaviors with their parents being sexual assault therapists. What are we doing wrong if … Continue reading →

Emotional Intelligence and Clear Communication

Emotional Intelligence recognizes that math, reading and spelling are not the only important lessons for children to learn. Human science researchers, and parents who value secure, well-adjusted children, believe that emotional intelligence assists children to grow into a functioning and responsible adult. A child taught about their emotional self has a greater chance of living a safe and ethical life, free from being abused or becoming an abuser. The Tenets of Emotional Intelligence Include: • Recognizing and understanding your feelings and using them to make life decisions you can live with. • Being able to manage your emotional life without … Continue reading →

Sexual Predators Groom for Silence

Yesterday we looked at the grooming process that sexual predators use on children and their adult supports. The predators purposely groom to trick and manipulate others into believing that the abuser is a wonderful, caring person. Throughout this devious method of control, they also groom the child to stay silent. A threat doesn’t have to be made in anger. A soft, caring voice that warns a child that if they tell, the family will be destroyed is as effective as holding a knife to a child’s throat. Children love and trust their families; they do not want to be the … Continue reading →