Search Results for: blog bitss of body ownership

A Chatterbox, Chatterbitss Activity, for Protective Play

Do you remember those paper folded, two hand, finger manipulated, schoolyard toys that we used to terrorize each other with? Four different colored faces, numbers on the inside that opened up to the most derogatory sayings the author could think of, e.g., “You love (the nerdiest boy in the class)” or “You smell.” We used to call them Chatterboxes. Who would have thought that such a simple, hand made toy could become a powerful teaching tool. Instead of Chatterbox, I call them Chatterbitts and use them to teach protective behaviors. I put protective statements, or reminders, under the inside triangular … Continue reading →

Final BITSS of Protective Play

As we’ve seen over the previous five BITSS articles on Body ownership, Intuition, Touch, Say no and Support networks, there are endless ways to include BITSS activities and games as part of your child’s everyday life. The suggestions provided were an entree to get you thinking and playing protectively. Stay curious, create different activities, seek out more information or think about getting a few resources from sexual assault centers or other places that deal with child sexual abuse. There are also some great computer games that children can play to help them learn about personal safety. Hold a protective behaviors … Continue reading →

BITSS of Support Networks

Children most at risk of sexual abuse are those without support networks – a range of trusted adults to talk to. Once we lived in extended family groups, nowadays we tend to be isolated from our emotional supports. We may live busy lives with little time for just chatting with our children or friends. Support networks are important for all of us. Predators love children with few supports. Worse still, predators will groom the few supports and trick them into believing that the child is lying about sexual abuse. To counteract this, remain in contact with friends: talk, listen, and … Continue reading →

BITSS of Say No.

It has always struck me as strange that while we want our children to grow into confident, assertive adults, we do not allow them to practice assertiveness as children. Although many toddlers start out saying “no” on every occasion, we soon halt this learning by telling the babies that saying “no” is not nice. Sexual abuse is not nice either and when children have been trained to never say “no” to grown ups, they become easy targets for predators. Saying “no” is not a form of disrespect. It is an example of assertiveness and high self-esteem. Of course, there will … Continue reading →

BITSS of Touch

Any touch can quickly turn from good to bad. So too can sexual activity and the grooming process that leads up to sexual abuse. Therefore, it is VERY important your child understands good touches/bad touches. Just as adults have the authority to say no at any time, so too do children. If someone is cuddling them and then tries to touch their private parts, children need to know this is a bad touch and they can say no and go and tell someone, even if the cuddle was good at first and they really wanted it. Most children are familiar … Continue reading →

BITSS of Intuition

Intuition is the adult term for what kids know as early warning signs. It is said that females have better intuition than males because girls are more sensitive. Perhaps that’s only because some of us train our sons NOT to rely on their intuition and not to show their feelings about things. We like them to be manly: rational, sensible, scientific, and cut off from their feelings. And when male children are sensitive we put them down by telling them not to be girls/sissies/cry babies!? The other thing we often do when children show emotion is to tell them to … Continue reading →

BITSS of Body Ownership.

From the moment we are born, our body belongs to us. Our body is part of our human signature. Babies may need to rely on adults to care for them but each baby’s body is still unique: they have their own skin, tone, imprints, hair, voice, size and shape. A newborn baby has little understanding of where their body begins and ends, so as loving carers, we engage in touch, good touch, to teach our babies what is theirs and what is ours. We stroke them, massage them and put clothes on them to give a message of body boundaries … Continue reading →

The BITSS to Teach Children About Protective Behaviors

Yesterday we looked at The Protective Behavior Program. Today I’d like to share another, super easy model of Protective Behaviors. The BITSS you need to remember to help keep your kids safe. After eight years of research with families and children, I developed an easy to remember model of protective play to use in your home and on a daily basis. Most of the families, children and professionals that I researched with failed to remember either the name of “The Protective Behaviour Program” or the two themes that guide the teaching and rules of protective behavior. This scared me and … Continue reading →

Teachable Moments in Protective Play.

Protective play is about finding teachable moments, during play, to introduce the five BITSS elements of protective behaviors. BITSS play can help you to protect your child by introducing talk about Body Ownership, Intuition, Touch, Say No and Support Networks before anything horrible happens to your child. I run Protective Play parties to teach parents how easy it is to do. I take a stock of everyday toys with me and we sit and play as if kids would. During the play I coach in how find and grab that teachable moment and mentor the participants through play tutoring. It … Continue reading →

Protective Behaviors at Bath Time are Lush.

Bath time is an excellent time to begin talking about Protective Behaviors. While washing children you can tell them about their private parts: the parts that nobody can touch unless it’s Mom or Dad giving them a quick wash or putting medicine there, or the Dr. or Nurse having a quick check to make sure all is well. The private parts are the body bits covered by our underwear or swimming costumes. Private means, “This is my body and it’s not for sharing. If you touch, I’m going to tell.” Although this seems super easy to me, many parents struggle … Continue reading →